John hypothesis

The John hypothesis, conceived by John John-Hypothesis in 1701 CD, states that anyone who invents anything can have the first name 'John', followed by a surname describing what it is they invented. Initially, this was thought to be a plain act of nominal vanity. However, upon further study of our most illustrious institutions, such as Words and Numbers, and Email, scientists have concluded that she was, to use a technical term, "right on the money".

The hypothesis, unlike other hypotheses, cannot be invoked in the format '[surname] hypothesis', as both the name of the hypothesis and John John-Hypothesis's surname would become recursive and infinite, risking the fabric of the space-time continuum. This was outlawed in 1702, following an incident in which a researcher attempted to invoke the hypothesis in such an irresponsible manner, resulting in a near hyper-omnishambles-level event (the collapse of the space-time continuum), which was only prevented when, with some stellar quick thinking, they used duct tape to hold the continuum in place. The remaining chip in space-time is thought to be what enables the hypothesis to be proposed in the first place, its effects stretching back before its creation, altering space-time to fit it. It is also the hole out of which CEOs and world leaders crawled from the Dark Realm, which exists beyond our reality.

Some inventors, upon learning of the John hypothesis, call themselves other names to be different. Which is fair enough.

That the John hypothesis makes no sense, is easily solved by not thinking about it. Or, indeed, by stating the refrain: "quantum physics". Everything works in quantum physics. Well, everything both works and does not work. But I guess that's something.

Notable exceptions

• John John-Hypothesis
• Jean d'Emaileux
• John the Email
• John Numbers
• John Words
• John Glasses
• Jane Lens Wipe for Glasses
• John Spiders
• John Hypothesis
• John Nirvana
• John I (also known as John John)