Work

Working is a thing you do when you need money or a greater sense of purpose in life. Some people reportedly enjoy their jobs. That's so sad.

Work Ethic

All Work is Unethical

List of Occasions where it would be Considered inappropriate to work

• When at a funeral or birthday
• When Jorking It
• When you are a printer

Tips for landing a Job

• Ask Steve Jobs, keeper of jobs
• Sign up to Indeed.com and respond to every listing with something along the lines of "hmm..... indeed........"
• Kill someone wealthy (preferably an fossil fuel executive, but anyone with a net worth over £1b will do in a pinch) and absorb their skills and jobs
• If you don't have very much money, you could purchase a cheap knockoff job from AliExpress
• Start a business and then offer yourself a job
• Nepotism
• Transform an everyday household object into a job using a spell or potion
• Go to a forest with a large Job population and set up three or more traps
• Take over the mind of whoever is interviewing you and convince them that Weezer's latest output has actually been pretty good