France
France is allegedly a country.
History
The people who lived in what would eventually become France were first known as Gauls, who invented the gaulbladder. Then, Romans, then, Franks. Today they are known as jerks (French: jerque /ʒɛʁk/). Charlemagne was a massive jerk. So was William the Conqueror. So was Louis XIV. So was Napoleon[1]. Charles de Gaulle was not a massive jerk. This is why he became an airport.
France is best known for its numerous revolutions. In fact, the hit game series Dance Dance Revolution was inspired by an earlier game, France France Revolution, in which players moved their feet onto four pads which would release guillotines onto aristocrats which passed through. The aim was to time the drops of the blades such that they lined up with their necks, beheading as much of the aristocracy as possible in a set duration.
- ↑ Contrary to popular belief that he was a small jerk.
Spin-offs
In 1524, the production staff behind France decided to start a spin-off based in North America, despite the fact that there were already people there. This made them rightly angry, and still does, as it should. It was initially known as "Can-Do", possibly thanks to the "can-do" attitude of the colonists, though perhaps more accurately as a reflection of the "we can do what the fuck we want" attitude of the producers. However, the British decided to poke fun at the name, adopting a mock-French accent and pronouncing it "Canada". By the time it decided to break off from the direction of the French production staff in 1867, the name had stuck, and it set out to have the weirdest exports yet known to man, such as mediocre coffee, tree syrup, mooses (meese?), and apologising.