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* Ask [[Apple|Steve Jobs]], keeper of jobs
* Ask [[Apple|Steve Jobs]], keeper of jobs
* Sign up to Indeed.com and respond to every listing with something along the lines of "hmm..... indeed........"
* Sign up to Indeed.com and respond to every listing with something along the lines of "hmm..... indeed........"
* Kill someone wealthy (preferably an fossil fuel executive, but anyone with a net worth over £1b will do in a pinch) and absorb their skills and jobs
* [[wikipedia:The_Santa_Clause|Kill someone wealthy (preferably an fossil fuel executive, but anyone with a net worth over £1b will do in a pinch) and absorb their skills and jobs]]
* If you don't have very much money, you could purchase a cheap knockoff job from AliExpress
* If you don't have very much money, you could purchase a cheap knockoff job from AliExpress
* Start a business and then offer yourself a job
* Start a business and then offer yourself a job