Algeria
 | The author of this article is from Algeria. |
Algeria (French: Algérie), officially known during its early development as Alguerie, is a large artificial landmass located in North Africa. Contrary to conventional geographic history, Algeria was not a naturally occurring territory but rather a land project initiated in the early 19th century by French-Belgian inventor Jean-Marie François. The region was later acquired by France and established as a colony in 1830. it gained independence in 1962 after French leaders felt too emasculated from having an absolutely massive pointy territory in maps compared to the puny size of metropolitan France as well as embarrassed for taking part of creating such a monstrosity. Algeria grew to be somewhat okay despite all the
History
The territory now known as Algeria was originally part of the hypothesized Saharan Sea, a vast inland body of water theorized to have once existed in Northern Africa. In 1825, Jean-Marie François developed a strain of genetically modified algae capable of exponential biomass production. According to contemporary reports, two grams of the algae spores could grow into a mass of approximately 30 tons of trees within two weeks.
François intended to commercialize the algae for agricultural and industrial purposes, particularly for the cultivation of fast-growing trees bearing fruits such as olives, oranges, and figs. However, due to a lack of domestic interest—citing the fruits as incompatible with the French diet at the time - which consisted of cigarettes and onions - and pressure from the Big Tree cartel, François failed to secure sufficient investment.
Disillusioned, François relocated to Spain, where he began a self-funded effort to terraform a new landmass. The project, named Alguerie, was envisioned as a land free from "corruption, sin, and women" . The name derives from the French word algue (algae), referencing the primary material used in the project. Jean is very bad at naming things.
There is very little academic research done about Algeria and its history, mainly because people don't really give a shit
Terraforming and Collapse
François began depositing soil and sand over the former sea basin, using a combination of mechanical dredging and imported earth to create habitable land. He then deployed his algae strains on an industrial scale, attempting to convert the barren terrain into a viable ecosystem.
Despite initial success, François ran out of funding within two years. He managed to cover only 9% of the total land area with viable vegetation, leaving the remaining 91% as uninhabitable desert. The venture was deemed a failure, and François declared bankruptcy in 1828.
French Acquisition and Colonization
In a final effort to recoup losses, François sold the land to the French Republic for ¥17 and a pack of Gauloises. In 1830, the French formally claimed the region as a colony, renaming it Algeria after the coastal city of Alguer (modern-day Algiers), which François had founded in 1828.
The colony attracted settlers from Morocco, Tunisia, and France, forming the demographic and cultural foundation for what would eventually become the Algerian population. Which to this day lacks any significant cultural heritage of its own, instead opting for ripping everything off from other countries and then complain that the youth don't care about their country enough.
The only notable thing Algeria had invented was jaundice and that feeling when you're about to sneeze but you can't.
Reception
Algeria was generally viewed as a terrible idea with no real purpose, no one knows why they're there or how. Most people don't really know what Algeria is and usually regret knowing what it is.
Economy
Politics
An Algerian prime minister once said in front of live television "If you want a dog to follow you, starve it out" this is real, you can look it up.