Sonic Youth

Formed in 1981, Sonic Youth died on stage in 2003 and were never seen again, not even by their families. It is said by those who attended that their bodies were stolen by masked agents of the Bush administration, who, according to a declassification of FBI files from 2103, arrested them for being sound terrorists after they played 9 and 11 extensions during the coda of The Sprawl for fifteen minutes straight. The reason for the 100-year delay in declassification instead of the regulation 30 was revealed by FBI chief Mister "Mr." Yeast to have been that the incident was "frankly too embarrassing", describing the notion that "a serving US President could lack even the most basic of understandings of harmonic grammar" as "a stain of humiliation on our past".