Solar System
The Solar System consists of the Sun and the objects that orbit it. The name comes from Sol, the author of this page. It formed when God was playing a particularly rowdy game of pool one time and knocked all of the balls off of His pool table with one shot. God was so pleased with the successful execution of the trick shot He'd planned, that He called the balls "plan-its," the name later becoming corrupted to "planets." He left them to orbit in space which they do to this day.
The Sun, containing more than 90% of the mass of the Solar System, is the second most massive object in the Solar System, the first being your mum. If you combined the mass of all the eight planets plus the other dwarf planets, asteroids, comets, and other orbiting objects, the result would still not be as big as your mum. Bloody hell, she's a heifer.
The Planets
"If you want to know about space you have to know about the planets. If you want to know about the planets you have to listen to me right now.
- Sun
- Merkerus
- Urannus, umm
- Water planets
- Plunto, and
- This one they didn't have a name for it yet, it's too far away..."
— Dr. Steve Brule, "Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule," season 2, episode 4
The Planets
The Planets, Op. 32, is a seven-movement orchestral suite by the English composer Gustav Holst, written between 1914 and 1917. The movements are titled as follows:
- Mars, the Bringer of Bars
- Venus, the Bringer of Peanus
- Mercury, the Thermometer
- Jupiter, the Bringer of Stupider
- Saturn (If You Liked It Then You Shoulda Put A Ring On It)
- Uranus, the Sphincter
- Neptune, the Misfit
Holst got the order of the planets wrong and forgot to write a movement about Earth because he is stupid.