Bread

Bread is a delicious and commonplace foodstuff. It's regarded as a staple food of many cultures, even though staples are not generally regarded as food at all.

Features of bread

Bread has several distinct features that one may use to identify it as such:

• A crunchy outer crust, which is no more healthy than the rest of the loaf, mom.
• A soft and fluffy inner section.
• A baking process involving dough that rises — either using yeast or baking soda.
• Really good smell.
• Going stale after a few days, with the crunchiness of the crust spreading to the inside as the loaf dehydrates.
  • If the loaf does not dehydrate, accidental fungal predation may occur instead.

Christians may choose to bake bread that does not rise: they believe that Jesus has already risen, so doing any more rising would be blasphemous.

Side-products of bread include beer, probably.

How to make bread

I was gonna copypaste a random recipe from the internet in here but I couldn't find one that was straightforward enough. Turns out this stuff is hard to make.

Trivia

• Sliced bread is the best thing since.. wait... oh no... what's going on???
• If you bake bread for too long, it turns into Toast. That's okay.
• If you bake bread for WAY too long, it turns into a charred, carbonized mess. That's your loss, really.
• If you teleport bread, [DATA EXPUNGED]