Cheese
Cheese,
, is a form of processed animal juice. It comes in a variety of forms, such as large chunks, small chunks, wet blobs and those tiny cubes you get as an appetizer at dinner partys.
Varieties
Normal cheese
To create normal cheese
, milk is emulsified with chymosin, which starts a curdling process that separates it into whey (referred to as "precum" in the industry) and a strange white substance. Scientists are still unsure about the exact composition of this substance, though they are certain that it tastes absolutely delectable. Some cheese
makers also add strep-bacteria into their cheese
. Why or how they do so remains a mystery. For optimal storage and consumption, the base material is pressed to remove all excess precum and then molded into wheels. These wheels are stored in basements or caves, where they slowly go insane and thereby develop their unique taste. To test the quality of the cheese
, some wheels are mounted onto cars and driven around the Nurburgring by experienced cheese
-racers.
American cheese
For American cheese
, normal cheese
is shredded and mixed with a variety of chemicals that not only help to keep pharmaceutical companies in business, but also make it deliciously melty.
Mental illnesses
Some people like to get their cheese
mouldy before they eat it. This practice is very strange and has therefore been outlawed in 96 countries worldwide, though mouldy cheese
is still a highly valued good on the black market.
Cultural importance
As cheese
is absolutely fucking delicious, it plays a vital role in cuisines all around the world. Many people also praise it for its supposed healing properties.