Synthesiser

Synthesisers are machines that can make any sound whatsoever, so, naturally, musicians have been using them to try and make the worst sounds imaginable. This competition has variously been known as ‘krautrock’ (1968–1979), ‘synth-pop’ (1979–1987), ‘acid house’ (1987–2000), and ‘dubstep’ (2000–present).

History

Synthesisers were invented by Leonardo ‘the Rock’ da Vinci between 1600 BCE and 1600 CE, when he realised that, instead of learning to play an instrument, he could just think about a sound really hard and synthesise it out of thin air. This concept would later inspire Michael Plastics in his invention of plastic.

The accreditation of Da "DaVinky" Vinci with the invention of the synthesiser contrasts the prior belief that it had been invented by Overseer Synthesiser "Synth" O'Sizer of the Irish Acoustic Innovention Asylum at some point during the second season of Earth: Anno Domini. Since most records had been lost to Time (that wretched bastard), it was assumed that O'Sizer's invention was the first instance of the concept of a synthesiser, largely due to the similarity of their names, but also since this was the first form in which the general public witnessed the synthesiser, resplendent in its majesty. Da Vinci died before he could get a proper marketing team together, so nobody was aware that the concept of a synthesiser had been invented by him, apart from Michael Plastics apparently. However, thanks to the infamous Root Around the Back of the Settee Expedition, made by the Canadian Archaeological Community Knitting Club (or CACK Club), it came to light that O'Sizer's technology was a refinement of Da Vinci's, and she was lambasted for being a fraud, despite agreeing with this present consensus throughout her life.

Famed exploiters of the Sin Thor Size Her

• Brian Eno
• Brian Oh No
• David Bowie
• Divad Eiwob
• theSampleMotion
• hellomynameisjoe
• Blue Hair & their Fabulous Pronouns
• Kraftwerk
• My mate Darius from Wavertree

Contra III: The Alien Wars

• Bit expensive.
• Hard to work out sometimes.
• List item 3
• Some people say FM is naff, but they need to get good.