Duct tape: Difference between revisions

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Roll zero was rediscovered in 1979 AD by the Canadian Archaeological Community Knitting Club (or CACK Club), and subsequently smaller, finite rolls were drawn off such that the wonders of duct tape could be democratised and shared freely with the world- no, I'm only joking. Birling & Co., a British company, nicked roll zero off the CACK Club in an operation known as "tapegate", and began selling finite rolls at a price, doable via a process known as manufactured scarcity. See? Look how far we've come.

For this misuse of such a wondrous technology and immensely treacherous and dishonest behaviour, the goddess Minerva took her vengeance on Birling & Co. in 1999, sending a plague of ten thousand rats to chew at the wooden foundations of their headquarters, then sending a large bull to stampede outside in order to cause the collapse of the now-destabilised building via its vibrations. She then lobbed a load of venomous snakes onto the rubble, just to make sure. Scholars to this day are baffled as to why she didn't simply ask Neptune to ~~summon~~ an earthquake in the area, or summon some sort of monster to deal with it, though ~~some~~ evidence suggests that they were on strike.

For this misuse of such a wondrous technology and immensely treacherous and dishonest behaviour, the goddess Minerva took her vengeance on Birling & Co. in 1999, sending a plague of ten thousand rats to chew at the wooden foundations of their headquarters, then sending a large bull to stampede outside in order to cause the collapse of the now-destabilised building via its vibrations. She then lobbed a load of venomous snakes onto the rubble, just to make sure. Scholars to this day are baffled as to why she didn't simply ask Neptune to muster up an earthquake in the area, or summon some sort of monster to deal with it, though evidence suggests that they were on strike.

The fact that she had enacted such retribution led to speculation that roll zero was of Minerva's doing, however, in a public statement given at the site of the smiting, she denied all involvement with roll zero, and denied that any god of any pantheon had had anything to do with it. The origin of roll zero, therefore, remains unknown.

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 Roll zero was rediscovered in 1979 AD by the Canadian Archaeological Community Knitting Club (or CACK Club), and subsequently smaller, finite rolls were drawn off such that the wonders of duct tape could be democratised and shared freely with the world- no, I'm only joking. Birling & Co., a British company, nicked roll zero off the CACK Club in an operation known as "tapegate", and began selling finite rolls at a price, doable via a process known as manufactured scarcity. See? Look how far we've come.
-For this misuse of such a wondrous technology and immensely treacherous and dishonest behaviour, the goddess Minerva took her vengeance on Birling & Co. in 1999, sending a plague of ten thousand rats to chew at the wooden foundations of their headquarters, then sending a large bull to stampede outside in order to cause the collapse of the now-destabilised building via its vibrations. She then lobbed a load of venomous snakes onto the rubble, just to make sure. Scholars to this day are baffled as to why she didn't simply ask Neptune to summon an earthquake in the area, or summon some sort of monster to deal with it, though some evidence suggests that they were on strike.
+For this misuse of such a wondrous technology and immensely treacherous and dishonest behaviour, the goddess Minerva took her vengeance on Birling & Co. in 1999, sending a plague of ten thousand rats to chew at the wooden foundations of their headquarters, then sending a large bull to stampede outside in order to cause the collapse of the now-destabilised building via its vibrations. She then lobbed a load of venomous snakes onto the rubble, just to make sure. Scholars to this day are baffled as to why she didn't simply ask Neptune to muster up an earthquake in the area, or summon some sort of monster to deal with it, though evidence suggests that they were on strike.
 The fact that she had enacted such retribution led to speculation that roll zero was of Minerva's doing, however, in a public statement given at the site of the smiting, she denied all involvement with roll zero, and denied that any god of any pantheon had had anything to do with it. The origin of roll zero, therefore, remains unknown.