Algeria: Difference between revisions
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{{Tombox| | {{Tombox|The author of this article is from Algeria.}} | ||
'''Algeria''' ([[France|French]]: ''Algérie | '''Algeria''' ([[France|French]]: ''Algérie''), officially known during its early development as Alguerie, is a large artificial landmass located in North Africa. Contrary to conventional geographic history, Algeria was not a naturally occurring territory but rather a land project initiated in the early 19th century by [[France|French]]-[[Belgium|Belgian]] inventor Jean-Marie François. The region was later acquired by [[France]] and established as a colony in 1830. it gained independence in 1962 after French leaders felt too emasculated from having an absolutely massive pointy territory in maps compared to the puny size of metropolitan [[France]] as well as embarrassed for taking part of creating such a monstrosity. Algeria grew to be somewhat okay despite all the | ||
== History == | == History == | ||
The territory now known as Algeria was originally part of the hypothesized Saharan Sea, a vast inland body of water theorized to have once existed in Northern Africa. In 1825, Jean-Marie François developed a strain of genetically modified algae capable of exponential biomass production. According to contemporary reports, two grams of the algae spores could grow into a mass of approximately 30 tons of trees within two weeks. | The territory now known as Algeria was originally part of the hypothesized Saharan Sea, a vast inland body of water theorized to have once existed in Northern Africa. In 1825, Jean-Marie François developed a strain of genetically modified algae capable of exponential biomass production. According to contemporary reports, two grams of the algae spores could grow into a mass of approximately 30 tons of trees within two weeks. | ||
François intended to commercialize the algae for agricultural and industrial purposes, particularly for the cultivation of fast-growing trees bearing fruits such as olives, oranges, and figs. However, due to a lack of domestic interest—citing the fruits as incompatible with the French diet at the time - which consisted of | François intended to commercialize the algae for agricultural and industrial purposes, particularly for the cultivation of fast-growing trees bearing fruits such as olives, oranges, and figs. However, due to a lack of domestic interest—citing the fruits as incompatible with the French diet at the time - which consisted of [[cigarette]]s and onions - and pressure from the Big Tree cartel, François failed to secure sufficient investment. | ||
Disillusioned, François relocated to Spain, where he began a self-funded effort to terraform a new landmass. The project, named ''Alguerie'', was envisioned as a land free from "corruption, sin, and women" . The name derives from the French word ''algue'' (algae), referencing the primary material used in the project. Jean is very bad at naming things. | Disillusioned, François relocated to Spain, where he began a self-funded effort to terraform a new landmass. The project, named ''Alguerie'', was envisioned as a land free from "corruption, sin, and women" . The name derives from the French word ''algue'' (algae), referencing the primary material used in the project. Jean is very bad at naming things. | ||
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There is very little academic research done about Algeria and its history, mainly because people don't really give a shit | There is very little academic research done about Algeria and its history, mainly because people don't really give a shit | ||
== Terraforming and | == Terraforming and [[C]]<nowiki/>ollapse == | ||
[[File:Sand in d.jpg|thumb|Most of Algeria is just this]] | |||
François began depositing soil and sand over the former sea basin, using a combination of mechanical dredging and imported earth to create habitable land. He then deployed his algae strains on an industrial scale, attempting to convert the barren terrain into a viable ecosystem. | François began depositing soil and sand over the former sea basin, using a combination of mechanical dredging and imported earth to create habitable land. He then deployed his algae strains on an industrial scale, attempting to convert the barren terrain into a viable ecosystem. | ||
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== French Acquisition and Colonization == | == French Acquisition and Colonization == | ||
[[File:Algeria Sahara Desert Photo From Drone 5.jpg|thumb|More sand]] | |||
In a final effort to recoup losses, François sold the land to the French Republic for ¥17 and a pack of Gauloises. In 1830, the French formally claimed the region as a colony, renaming it Algeria after the coastal city of ''Alguer'' (modern-day Algiers), which François had founded in 1828. | In a final effort to recoup losses, François sold the land to the French Republic for ¥17 and a pack of Gauloises. In 1830, the French formally claimed the region as a colony, renaming it Algeria after the coastal city of ''Alguer'' (modern-day Algiers), which François had founded in 1828. | ||
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== Reception == | == Reception == | ||
Algeria was generally viewed as a terrible idea with no real purpose, no one knows why they're there or how. Most people don't really know what Algeria is and usually regret knowing what it is. | Algeria was generally viewed as a terrible idea with no real purpose, no one knows why they're there or how. Most people don't really know what Algeria is and usually regret knowing what it is. | ||
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== Politics == | == Politics == | ||
An Algerian prime minister once said in front of live television "If you want a dog to follow you, starve it out" this is real, you can look it up. | An Algerian prime minister once said in front of live television "If you want a dog to follow you, starve it out" this is real, you can look it up. | ||
[[Category:Things bigger than Nordrhein-Westfalen]] | [[Category:Things bigger than Nordrhein-Westfalen]] | ||
[[Category:Things bigger than a small packet of soy sauce]] | [[Category:Things bigger than a small packet of soy sauce]] | ||