Telephone: Difference between revisions

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{{#CSS:

h1 {

--mag: 0.25rem;

animation: ringring 6s cubic-bezier(0.5, 5, 0.5, -5) infinite;

}

@keyframes ringring {

00% { translate: 0; }

03% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1.5); }

06% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }

09% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }

12% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }

15% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }

18% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }

21% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }

24% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }

27% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }

30% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 0.5); }

32% { translate: 0; }

}

}}

Anything you can do on the '''telephone''' you may as well do on the [[computer]].

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=== SS5 and DTMF ===

For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to [[True...|maybe]] [[fuck]]". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's-breakfast-cereal-mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.

For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to [[True...|maybe]] [[fuck]]". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's-breakfast-cereal-mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.<ref>Signaling System 7 uses out-of-band control signals instead of SS5's in-band control signals. Since we're all out-of-band, there's no more music :(</ref>

=== The World Wide Web ===

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==== One Fish, Two Fish, 3G, 4G LTE, 5G ====

[[File:5g.png|thumb|This is what it's like now]]

The tellular celephone network is made out of G and every once in a while they run out and have to add some more. That was chill for a while and people didn't really care until they got up to five of them and then people got a bit freaky with it and started setting cell towers on fire for some reason.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{#CSS:
+h1 {
+  --mag: 0.25rem;
+  animation: ringring 6s cubic-bezier(0.5, 5, 0.5, -5) infinite;
+}
+@keyframes ringring {
+% { translate: 0; }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1.5); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * -1); }
+% { translate: calc(var(--mag) * 0.5); }
+% { translate: 0; }
+}
+}}
 Anything you can do on the '''telephone''' you may as well do on the [[computer]].
@@ Line 8: / Line 32: @@
 === SS5 and DTMF ===
-For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to [[True...|maybe]] [[fuck]]". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's-breakfast-cereal-mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.
+For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to [[True...|maybe]] [[fuck]]". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's-breakfast-cereal-mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.<ref>Signaling System 7 uses out-of-band control signals instead of SS5's in-band control signals. Since we're all out-of-band, there's no more music :(</ref>
 === The World Wide Web ===
@@ Line 18: / Line 42: @@
 ==== One Fish, Two Fish, 3G, 4G LTE, 5G ====
+[[File:5g.png|thumb|This is what it's like now]]
 The tellular celephone network is made out of G and every once in a while they run out and have to add some more. That was chill for a while and people didn't really care until they got up to five of them and then people got a bit freaky with it and started setting cell towers on fire for some reason.