Telephone: Difference between revisions

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Anything you can do on the '''telephone''' you may as well do on the [[computer]].
Anything you can do on the '''telephone''' you may as well do on the [[computer]].
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=== SS5 and DTMF ===
=== SS5 and DTMF ===
For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to maybe fuck". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's breakfast-cereal mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.
For a while, telephones used to speak a language called signaling system 5 which was made out of funky [[music]] called DTMF which does not stand for "down to [[True...|maybe]] [[fuck]]". If you learned to speak it, you could ask the telephone network to do nice things for you like dial long distance calls for free and it would do them for you because you asked so nicely and were very polite. Legendary children's-breakfast-cereal-mascot Captain Crunch liked this idea so much he made a whistle that you could use to talk to telephone network trunk switches. The telephone company didn't like that very much so they made the telephone speak a different language called signaling system 7.<ref>Signaling System 7 uses out-of-band control signals instead of SS5's in-band control signals. Since we're all out-of-band, there's no more music :(</ref>


=== The World Wide Web ===
=== The World Wide Web ===
Eventually the internet happened and that was pretty interesting because people used the telephone network to connect to the internet even though it really wasn't designed for that at all and kinda didn't do a great job of it. People would call each other and then put their computers on the phone and the computers would talk to each other. Nobody was really sure what they were talking about but they let it happen anyway. The phone company really wanted people to keep using the phone network for internet stuff and so they made this thing called ISDN that was kinda a little more designed for internet stuff and in some countries it became a thing but not in the [[United States of America|US]] because they didn't try very hard or something. Anyways, the internet really took off and things got faster and until eventually, people started connecting to the internet without making phone calls. Some unhinged weird legal loophole made it so that some people got internet access from a third party through the same copper wires that they used to use for the telephone. This was called DSL which probably is short for something like digital subscriber line. Then it kinda got all wrapped around because people started doing internet so hard that they started doing phone stuff over the internet. This was called Voice Over Internet Protocol and it's kinda wack a little bit annoying.
Eventually the internet happened and that was pretty interesting because people used the telephone network to connect to the internet even though it really wasn't designed for that at all and kinda didn't do a great job of it. People would call each other and then put their computers on the phone and the computers would talk to each other. Nobody was really sure what they were talking about but they let it happen anyway. The phone company really wanted people to keep using the phone network for internet stuff and so they made this thing called ISDN that was kinda a little more designed for internet stuff and in some countries it became a thing but not in the [[United States of America|US]] because they didn't try very hard or something. Anyways, the internet really took off and things got faster and until eventually, people started [https://www.linkedin.com/ connecting] to the internet without making phone calls. Some unhinged weird legal loophole made it so that some people got internet access from a third [[fun|party]] through the same copper wires that they used to use for the telephone. This was called DSL which probably is short for something like digital subscriber line. Then it kinda got all wrapped around because people started doing internet so hard that they started doing phone stuff over the internet. This was called Voice Over Internet Protocol and it's kinda wack and a little bit annoying.


=== Cellphones ===
=== Cellphones ===
It kinda didn't come up in the other sections but cellphones are kinda interesting. For a while, people have wanted to be able to make telephone calls on the go. It used to be really clunky and expensive but now it's a lot cheaper and easier. Cellphones became more and more widespread and started to replace landline phones after a bit. With the advent of smartphones made by companies such as [[Apple]], Blackberry, and [[Grape]],
It kinda didn't come up in the other sections but cellphones are kinda interesting. For a while, people have wanted to be able to make telephone calls on the go. It used to be really clunky and expensive but now it's a lot cheaper and easier. Cellphones became more and more widespread and started to replace landline phones after a bit. With the advent of smartphones made by companies such as [[Apple]], Blackberry, and [[Grape]],
this process was further accelerated. Nowadays, for many people, smartphones are the primary way they interact with the telephone network and the internet!
this process was further accelerated. Nowadays, for many people, smartphones are the primary way they interact with the telephone network and the internet!
==== One Fish, Two Fish, 3G, 4G LTE, 5G ====
[[File:5g.png|thumb|This is what it's like now]]
The tellular celephone network is made out of G and every once in a while they run out and have to add some more. That was chill for a while and people didn't really care until they got up to five of them and then people got a bit freaky with it and started setting cell towers on fire for some reason.