DataGoo

Revision as of 20:05, 9 October 2025 by Leah (talk | contribs) (I would like to apologise to the hellomynameisjoe estate for this removal)

DataGoo (DG) is a discontinued data storage product developed by Sony. Created to replace the aging Horse MiniDisc standard, DataGoo offered an increased capacity of 10 minutes of audio playback per millilitre.

After the Horse MiniDisc branding fiasco, Sony decided to go back to its MiniDisc roots with its logo for DataGoo.

History

The first generation of DataGoo containers featured a sharp needle which users would insert into a plastic membrane on the receptacle. This design lead to numerous injuries and hospitalisations, including one incident where a user mistakenly injected themself with DataGoo. We have no idea what happened to that guy.

Sony later introduced a needle-free alternative, with a soft plastic container and a reengineered receptacle featuring a funnel to squeeze the DataGoo into.

Adoption

 
The Nintendo Wii was one of the first video game consoles to adopt the DataGoo format.

DataGoo immediately saw worldwide adoption, quickly usurping the Compact Disc, DVD, MiniDisc, Horse MiniDisc, writing things down on paper, and remembering.

Reception

Some critics thought it would be funny if they called it the Sony DataPoo. They soon met their fate.

Safety Concerns

While Sony has always maintained that DataGoo is harmless when consumed, many have reported dire consequences. In one instance, a small child between the ages of four and twenty-seven consumed their copy of Wii Sports Resort, which was stored on DataGoo. While not immediately noticing any side effects, they soon reported to have gained the ability to perfectly simulate in their mind a game of boxing or perhaps flying around in a little plane. I shouldn't have to tell you why this is fucked up.

In 2089, Sony was caught dumping exorbitant amounts of DataGoo in the Specific Ocean, forming an environmental hazard, where everyone who tried to swim there immediately drowned a horrible death. For this, they faced a steep £10 fee and were forced to decrease their disposal rate by 6.5% by 2139.