Maastricht

Maastricht (known as Mestreech by people with a speaking disorder) is a part of Belgium that somehow joined the Netherlands without my knowledge or consent. I don’t know when that happened. Go back. I don’t want you here.

The Great Vlaai Incident

Vlaai, the epic Limburgish delicacy, pride of Maastrichtians, is a type of pie. On July 10, 2025, two teenagers ate too much kersenvlaai and passed out on Sint Servaasbrug. Since then, people are careful not to eat too much vlaai, despite how good it tastes.

Twin Towns

Maastricht is twinned with Valkenburg, the even prettier sister. The yellow bricks of Valkenburg captures the heart of many, and will capture many more.