Jesus

Jesus ‘the Sex Understander’ of Nazareth, also known as Jesus Christ or Chrissy Jeebs, was a preacher, teacher, and all around standup guy. He is the son of Gosh, and the central figure of Christianity and as such has been the subject of much appreciation as well as many disagreements and kerfuffles throughout history.

Early Life

Coming from humble beginnings, Jesus was born, wrapped in swaddling clothes, and laid in a Pret A Manger.

Teachings

Jeebs was famous for making long speeches, which were often boring, but sometimes snacks were included. He often told his twitter followers to get gender reassignment surgery and to practice good dental hygiene.

Top Surgery

Chris was one of the first transgender men in recorded history, wearing his top surgery scars with pride.

The procedure made him feel significantly more at ease in his own skin, easing gender dysphoria. Shortly after, he found many excuses to walk around town topless. Good for him.

Death 1

Jessy got stapled to the cross and bled out from bleeding. One of the Jesus subfandoms, often known as Catholic, reenacts his first death through a railway network with stops at every major injury James was subjected to, thus giving it the name the Stations of the Cross. Such stops include Jesus is stripped and Jesus is nailed.

Resurrection

They put him in a cave and he lived out from leeving.

Death 2

I don't remember how he died the second time around.