Tea
Tea is a magical liquid which has fueling and healing properties when imbibed by humans. The extent of the beneficial qualities of tea has not yet been completely documented, though this effort is currently ongoing. Tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world apart from water and Stella.
History of tea
East Asian peoples were the first to cultivate tea plants and develop different varieties of tea. They had a thousands of years of a head start on the rest of the world, but nowadays tea is most closely associated with Britain, because even though they were late to the party, they started buying shit tonnes of it and monopolising the global tea trade.
Varieties of tea
Some kinds of tea help you wake up in the morning, and other kinds help you sleep at night. Many ingredients can change their forms into liquid to become tea, such as flowers, fruits, fungi, bones, and rocks.
Enemies of tea
Coffee is a similar substance to tea, but don't be fooled; it is evil and tries to destroy your body. Coffee likes to unsettle your stomach, twitch your eyelids, and brown your teeth. It also makes you shit yourself.
Process of tea
When you have obtained the necessary ingredients you must add them to boiling water to create tea.
It is CRUCIAL that the water be boiled in a KETTLE. Any other method of boiling the water will imbue the tea with an EVIL aura.
Sometimes the ingredients may be added to the boiling water and just float around in it, but on other occasions the ingredients come inside a special vessel called the scrotum. [See: Teabagging]
Derivatives
A tea shirt is a clothing item made with tea leaves. One can turn the ocean into Big Tea by swimming in a tea shirt.
Known effects
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