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Revision as of 05:48, 2 May 2026
Sigh. A king like me must play a game with only pawns...
Chess is the most violent of the 6 videogames. It has gained incredible notoriety among the transgender community due to the mechanic whereby, following a great and terrible journey, the humble pawn transforms into a beautiful and luxurious horse.
History
Chess had a fraught initial release with beta versions of the software prematurely leaked by insider developers. Despite the high-security of the development facility, a rogue developer was able to copy the game off of a workplace computer by burning it to a disc.
Special Moves
Castling
Castling is an expert chess move in which one scoops up all the pieces from the board and makes a little castle with them. It is the House of Card's less structurally sound cousin.
En Passant
If an opposing pawn is too sassy, your pawn may sashay in such a fashion as to behead the opposition, & it learns its rightful place beneath your pawn's paw. (They kiss afterwards.)
Backflip