John hypothesis: Difference between revisions
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The '''John hypothesis''', conceived by John John-Hypothesis in 1701 [[CD]], [[United States|states]] that [[anyone]] who invents anything can have the first name 'John' | The '''John [[hypothesis]]''', conceived by [[John John-Hypothesis]] in 1701 [[CD]], [[United States of America|states]] that [[anyone]] who [[Explodes you with my mind|invents anything]] can have the first name 'John', followed by a surname describing what it is they invented. Initially, this was thought to be a plain act of nominal vanity. However, upon further study of our most illustrious institutions, such as [[John Words|Words]] and [[John Numbers|Numbers]], and [[Email]], scientists have concluded that she was, to use a technical term, "right on the [[money]]". | ||
The hypothesis, unlike other hypotheses, cannot be invoked in the format '[surname] hypothesis', as both the name of the hypothesis and John John-Hypothesis's surname would become recursive and infinite, risking the fabric of the space-[[time]] continuum. This was outlawed in 1702, following an incident in which a researcher attempted to invoke the hypothesis in such an irresponsible manner, resulting in a near hyper-omnishambles-level event (the collapse of the space-time continuum), which was only prevented when, with some stellar quick thinking, they used duct tape to hold the continuum in place. The remaining chip in space-time is thought to be what enables the hypothesis to be proposed in the first place, its effects stretching back before its creation, altering space-time to fit it. It is also the hole out of which CEOs and world leaders crawled from the Dark Realm, which exists beyond our reality. | The hypothesis, unlike other hypotheses, cannot be invoked in the format '[surname] hypothesis', as both the name of the hypothesis and John John-Hypothesis's surname would become recursive and infinite, risking the fabric of the space-[[time]] continuum. This was outlawed in 1702, following an incident in which a researcher attempted to invoke the hypothesis in such an irresponsible manner, resulting in a near hyper-omnishambles-level event (the collapse of the space-time continuum), which was only prevented when, with some stellar quick thinking, they used [[duct tape]] to hold the continuum in place. The remaining chip in space-time is thought to be what enables the hypothesis to be proposed in the first place, its effects stretching back before its creation, altering space-time to fit it. It is also the hole out of which CEOs and world leaders crawled from the Dark Realm, which exists beyond our reality. | ||
Some inventors, upon learning of the John hypothesis, call themselves other names to be different. Which is fair enough. | Some inventors, upon learning of the John hypothesis, call themselves other names to be different. Which is fair enough. | ||
That the John hypothesis makes no sense, is easily solved by not thinking about it. | That the John hypothesis makes no sense, is easily solved by not thinking about it. Or, indeed, by stating the refrain: "[[quantum physics]]". Everything works in quantum physics. Well, everything both works and does not work. But I guess that's something. | ||
== Notable exceptions == | |||
* [[John John-Hypothesis]] | |||
* [[Jean d'Emaileux]] | |||
* [[John the Email]] | |||
* [[John Numbers]] | |||
* [[John Words]] | |||
* [[John Glasses]] | |||
* [[Jane Lens Wipe for Glasses]] | |||
* [[Spiders|John Spiders]] | |||
* [[John Hypothesis]] | |||
* [[John Nirvana]] | |||
* [[John I]] (also known as John John) | |||